Everyone who knows me knows I like wine, and that I’m a bit of a wine snob (my mother-in-law’s fault), I have a bit of a reputation with friends and at work that if it’s not a New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc then I’ll still drink it but it’s not the one. I always said if I ever got pregnant everyone would know instantly, my husband is super sociable (I am less, I like PJs and sleep more than I like people most of the time) so we always have people over and I’m pretty much always drinking wine.
How do you hide pregnancy from people when you’re the sort of person who has a top with a dinosaur on and says ‘wineosaurus’? I could say I’m on a health kick? No one will believe that. Tempted to say I’ve got stomach issues again but pretending to have constant ‘digestive problems’ isn’t that glamorous (not that I am glamorous). One night we were going to a friend’s for dinner so I went down to Sainsburys and looked in their non-alcoholic section, again looking around for people I know because I really should be in the white wine aisle and picked up some ultra low alcohol ciders, disappointed by the lack of non-alcoholic wine. That evening the husband and I made a plan, I’d hide the cider in my bag, hubby would offer to make everyone a drink, pour mine into a glass and stash the bottle back in my bag, it was genius! I even offered our friend to try my new tasty cider I’d found (it wasn’t tasty, it was basically apple juice), success! Last night we had friends over again and this time I had more success, I picked up a £3 0.0% bottle of sauvignon blanc! It actually tasted pretty good and as I poured drinks in the kitchen, they were none the wiser!
As much as I hate fibbing to friends and want to tell everyone in the world I’m pregnant, it is kinda fun coming up with ways to hide it with fake booze!